I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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