hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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