If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
