I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
