so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
