I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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