so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize