part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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