worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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