i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
