i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name