I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling