I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??