your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
