My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
