oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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