new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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