somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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