I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
