so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Two words: blizzard sex
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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