We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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