i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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