I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Alive.
So much puke
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
