we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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