he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
