She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Can i not drive my cunt home
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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