how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
