I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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