who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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