just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
