you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
