just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
