Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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