i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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