I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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