apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
