Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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