I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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