I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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