I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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