Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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