Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
