I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
