Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
