i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
