I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am available for nakedness
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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