what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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