the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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