Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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