What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do cheetos always look like penises
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
