My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think i have two assholes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
