i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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