Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
