i think i have herpe
just one?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
