Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
