you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
