"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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