quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
