just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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