she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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