i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he fucked my hip out of place.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
