apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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