i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
