We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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